You know what… I’m just gonna write to myself for a bit because I’m bored of keeping my emotions in. 3 am is the best time to write imho, so quiet and nothing to disturb you. Every one else is sleeping and I can finally be alone with my thoughts. It’s been a really long day…..

Today my mother came to visit from Ottawa, she drove all the way here to Montreal in a hurry to come see me… I was still sleeping when she showed up and I literally opened my eyes to my mother standing over me saying hello in a warm voice. What a thing to happen to someone on a day when they were going to tell that very same mother a huge secret. So I did it, and she accepted it. And it felt good to get it off my chest.

Then I start writing about my mother and Let It Be starts playing. That’s her favorite song. It was my Uncle David’s favorite song, until he was killed in a skiing accident when he was only 19. I never met him, but my middle name is named in his memory. I guess I continue to carry a part of him with me wherever I go, so my mom can remember him. So my other uncles and aunts can respect my person.

Mothers are the most important things in the world, you know. No one will ever understand you better than your mom. She loves you unconditionally. And when she’s gone, she’s looking out for you from where ever she goes. Not to mention, she gave you life. The universe is a womb craddling us all. We exist inside it, sure, but in that sense death is birth. The end of one state and the start of a new one. Sorry, that’s tmi.

I only wished to be accepted with my secret, and it happened. I put myself out there, and there were no consequences (yet). Wow, what an amazing feeling. Letting yourself be heard by someone who loves you, unconditionally, and having them not be scared of you anymore. WELL, I hope you’re not scared of me, mom. There’s nothing to be scared of, I’m becoming less frightened about it as time passes.

Time passes QUICK. I never noticed that. Maybe I was too bored to notice. 24 hours is a pretty short planetary rotational period in comparison to some of them out there in space. It’s also pretty long if you compare it to a moon who’s rotating every 2-3 hours. I guess we’re lucky to have this Earth… wish we knew it. I know it, but I wish you did too. All of our history and culture combined can’t amount to the oxygen we breathe. The atmosphere is tuned to our conditions. Or we’re tuned to it. Chicken or the egg, right?

I guess don’t judge me. Judge not unless you’re ready for judgement. I’m just speaking my mind, sorry if it offends you. But I’m not gonna pussy foot around your insecurities anymore. I’m not judging you so stop acting like I am. It’s not a competition when you really step back and think about it for a second. We might all be Gods competing for success on Mount Olympus, but I ain’t got time for that shit. Zeus can suck my cock. I’m a bit foul if you give me the chance, I guess I watch too much South Park. It’s the funniest show on the planet. I love how it offends weak souls. Trey has to be one of the strongest and oldest souls I’ve ever admired. He’s so fucking smart. It’s actually insane.

I could literally talk about South Park for hours, I’ve seen every episode dozens of times each. Now when I put it on in the background, I barely notice the jokes I know them so well. I could analyze South Park for a living if I wanted to. I dunno, I guess I could do anything if I wanted to. I have powers.

Divinity is intellect, intellect is truth. Truth is words that make sense, as sense is emotion that makes true.